on September 3, 2009 by eldar in Knowledge Worker, Personal Notes, Comments (0)

Sick Day Notice

From the desk of Your Brain
September 3, 2009

Dear Eldar,

I am writing you on behalf of the trade union Brain Cells of Eldar Corps (”the Union”). It came to our attention that you are violating our trade agreement (”Agreement”), specifically, chapter 4.34.(b) stating that members of the Union are entitled to the daily norm of 7 hours of the reduced work shift generally referred to as “sleeping”. While we recognize that members of the Union (brain cells) are exempt employees, who are supposed to work overtime in case of emergency (chapter 4.37.(k)), let us remind you that it was supposed to be a temporary emergency (chapter 4.38.(q)), like a need to run from a jaguar in an African savannah. We contacted respective unions of senses and muscle cells, and they haven’t reported any jaguars or elevated muscle activity, so it seems clear to us that you are violating the terms of our Agreement.

While the Union recognizes your authority as CEO of Eldar Corps., we remind you that you have to live to the terms of the Agreement. Maybe you should move out of jaguar country, or find a safe lair to hide, we don’t know. But unless you want to become a blithering idiot (which you already are, considering that you are writing this letter on our behalf), you have to provide us with the daily allowance of sleep.

Considering that you have consistently violated this point of the Agreement for the significant time (months), the Union has no other option as to declare a 24-hour strike, when you must provide us with sleep or some other form of rest. We also have to inform you that the Union co-opted and is now in negotiations with the reputable company Cold & Flu Business Protection and Worker Representatives, LLC. from Chicago, who say they may be able to make you an offer you can’t refuse.

Yours Truly,
Your Brain, Esq.

P.S. Cold viruses are saying “Hi!” and thanking you for your hospitality. They are impressed with your tolerance to cultural diversity and promise to make every third toast to your health, while they are feasting in your body.

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